Always looking for something more?

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October 6, 2012 by Sera

Is it just me or are we always looking for something more in life?
It’s like I just can’t be happy with what I have, right here and right now.
I’m not talking about money and things, actually I don’t even know what I’m talking about LOL.
Things are getting better with my husband, in certain areas we are actually doing better than we ever have.
We’ve booked a little trip for December too, just to get away from everyday life and I’m really looking forward to that.
So you’d think that’s something to be happy about right? I should be content at the very least and yet I am not.
I’m still looking for something else though, something more but guess what, I still don’t know what it is.
I’ve got that ache in my heart again and am feeling this weird sadness inside.
I really need to get this under control because it’ll slowly drive me crazy.
Considering I already notice how I have trouble getting a good night’s sleep, this could go the wrong way and soon.
My thoughts keep going this way and that, turning and turning and never getting to the point where I finally figure out what I need to do.
I’ve always kinda lived inside my head and I really thought that had gotten better during the last years but I’m going back to my old ways because of this stupid longing for something more.
In a way I really wish I could talk this through with someone who’s been there or at least knows what I’m talking about but let’s face it, there’s nobody like that out there.
I don’t think it’s enough anymore to just put what’s in my head out there, I need to know that I’m understood.
Maybe that’s what I’m looking for then?
If so, then ‘yay’ me because I know already that I’m looking for the impossible here.
Ah well, back to square one then. I really thought I’d figured part of the problem out but it’s obvious I haven’t because it hasn’t made a difference so far.


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